Happy New Year. It’s a glorious day here this morning, my second day back from holiday. We’ve been away for 2 1/2 weeks of summer holiday, including Xmas and New Year. I’m feeling well rested and recharged.
Sitting here reflecting on the holiday one thing stands out, I kept up AF through Xmas staying with my sister and her family for 8 nights. That was a crowded household with two families, 8 people. At times things were more stressful, someone else’s kitchen, trying to please everyone and children demanding care and attention. It would have been all too easy to sit back and enjoy a glass of wine, but no I stuck to AF.
Interestingly, my sister only very occasionally drinks, my B-I-L doesn’t drink anymore for health reasons, my parents don’t, and other family that do were driving, so while others were having some drinks I certainly didn’t feel left out. In fact when difficult situations arose I was able to face them clearly and much more level headed. Phew.
We also spent 9 nights camping, usually that means enjoying a glass or two of wine each night relaxing but not this time. I had my supply of AF drinks, and happy as. 😊. We visited my MIL and usually she offers us a beer or wine, which she did, but started apologizing that she had accidentally bought 0% beers. To which we replied that would get fab, as I am only drinking AF beers.
Back at the campsite, armed with my AF drinks life was good. It’s a relaxed pace with days in sun, biking, walking, beaching and generally recharging. On the second night though, one if the nearby campsites got stuck into the booze. They were awful, obnoxious and loud. They kept us and everyone else awake. They didn’t apologize to me the next day. However, they were a bit apologetic to others. They were late 50s at a guess and really it rammed home to me how awful it looked. I was happy to be AF.
During our stay, other campers asked us to join us for a drink. I had my AF drinks and happily joined them. On another evening I met a friend and invited her to our campsite. I was drinking a bubbly water and offered her a drink. She said no thanks I don’t drink, haven’t for a few years, water is good. We got talking and I shared how my 6 months AF started as I had stopped sleeping and other perimenopause symptoms. She is younger than me but had stopped for many of the same reasons.
Finally, on our last night we caught up with camp neighbour’s for a drink, me AF of course. Turns out the husband has been AF for last two years. He was turning 50 like me and decided to call it quits. He called it quits and started training for a marathon and completed it in 5 hour 20 odd. He was learning Te Reo (Maori language) and generally feeling much better. Now that was inspiring and reinforces my commitment on this sober journey. There is everything to gain and I really can’t believe how many connections I’ve made with people through being vulnerable and opening up about my first six months AF. That has been the unexpected surprise, that along with a sense of more compassion and understanding of others, an alertness to things going around me, but also it hasn’t stopped me making new connections, having a laugh and having fun. It’s only made all of these better.
Small Steps to Change Now 